Getting Ignored The Day After Sex
-by Jeremy Gloff
-appeared on TheNewGay.net
-May 31th, 2010

I have learned three things in life. Sweaty balls are disgusting. I will never enjoy a Celine Dion song. And most gay men will ignore you the day after you have sex with them.

I will take full accountability of the melancholy I am feeling right now. I became versed in the rules of casual gay sex after my first internet hook up in 1998. 12 years and millions of fucks later I had no idea I still had that damn little heart hiding under my sleeve.

Most gay men won’t talk to you the day after you have sex with them. Strangers. Online friends. Internet friends. Regardless of your prior level of friendship, sex changes all the rules. You will be ignored. Accept it or hurt.

I have applied an icy veneer to desensitize myself during sex with strangers. I know how to feel good yet feel nothing at the same time. It’s hot and hollow. It was a hard lesson learning how not to become imprisoned by the freedoms of casual sex.

And now the universe just spoke to me and said “Oh ye boy you still have one lesson to learn before you are a full grown gay man.” I must learn that real life acquaintances will ignore you after sex too.

Sex with straight acquaintances is easy. Vulnerability need not apply. But I had sex with a gay acquaintance last week. The first time I met him I thought he was beautiful. I fantasized about his lips much more than anything his pants concealed.

Talking to him online was fun. He was puzzling and sweet and evasive. But then one night we were both horny…

If he would have been a stranger I would have never thought about him again unless I was alone in my room with my pants off. But he wasn’t a stranger. He was soft and gentle and he made me smile, goddamnit.

I wonder if there ever comes an age when it doesn’t hurt a little bit when someone doesn’t answer back. I wonder if this time I’ve learned.