MADONNA: HARD
CANDY OUTTAKE
PHOTOS ARE HARD TO TAKE
by Jeremy Gloff
I have been haunted all day by something. It is a bit
embarrassing to admit it publicly, especially in the wake of Obama
entering the office and other things that actually matter. But my
entire day has been overshadowed by the new Madonna images that have
crept onto the internet. I can not lie. I'm upset.
It was yesterday my friend Okie told me the news. It was our
mutual adoration of Madonna that was the genesis of our friendship. So
when there are Madge updates we are quick to share. Okie was
gasping over the HARD CANDY photo shoot outtake images that had leaked
onto the net. But I was sure Okie must be
exaggerating. All this dramatic talk of wrinkles and sagging skin
just couldn't be true.
I was not prepared to view these photos. Sure, Madonna has been looking
a bit older these days. And that is wonderful. Aging is natural and
gorgeous. But no, I was not prepared for these photos.
Let's backtrack and admit that even the officially released HARD CANDY
photos that were a bit awkward. Madonna with her legs spread wearing a
wrestling belt. The rest of the photos in the booklet were minor
elaborations on the same theme. But those outtakes...
I grew up with Madonna. I've admired her work since I was eight years
old. And in twenty five years of being a fan I never felt like
Madonna looked like a fool. At least not until these pictures.
And here was a forty nine year old Madonna wrapped in
ace bandages. Here was Madonna awkwardly posed in an ill advised boxing
motif. Here was Madonna looking exhausted, bored, and uncomfortable in
cheap looking (not in the good way) lingerie. It was not sagging skin,
wrinkles, or bare flesh that upset. More disturbing was the
hollowness of Madonna's eyes and the stoniness of her face. These
Madonna photos emanated an awkward chilliness unlike any Madonna photos
I'd ever seen...untouched or not. Can we lose the morgue chic and
get Madge back please?



I hope Madonna doesn't reduce her entire career into
a caricature this late in the game. It seems in these photos perhaps
Madonna was aiming to appear sexy, young, fresh, and tough.
Unfortunately, at worst, some of these photos emitted a low brow
truck-stop calendar vibe. I look forward to seeing wrinkles on
Madonna's face. I hope she doesn't stop being relevant in the futile
attempt to chase a youth that has passed. Hopefully these photos are
not unsettling foreshadowing.
I loved the "Sex" book. I even loved "Body Of Evidence".
And I don't think there's ANYTHING wrong with a fifty-year-old showing
skin. It's presentation that counts. Here's to hoping that the
grim look on Madonna's face wasn't reflecting her discomfort over doing
a photo shoot that a record company executive pressured her into
doing. Although Photo Shop can easily wipe away wrinkles,
it can never mask the facial expression of somebody clearly not
enjoying themselves.
But on the bright side obviously these photos were
not supposed to be released to the public. Still I cannot lie - it was
a bummer to see someone I respect in such an unflattering light.
Perhaps this was just a bad day for Madonna. Regardless I want to see
Madonna classy, aged, smart, and sophisticated. And full of
wrinkles. Madonna built her career on being daring. Now I
dare her to age with grace.
<-----return
to Jeremy Gloff's Essays and Short Stories
<-----return to main menu.